Good Days > Bad Days

I am finally starting to have more good days than bad. Finally. I feel like I have lived for the time like this.. for the past five years or so. Living trapped inside a sick body is indescribable...miserable... lonely...unhappy. I am so happy to be doing better... and to not be so reliable on that awful medicine and its side effects. It is kind of ironic that I am writing this post about having more good days.. when I am having a bad day (sick day) today. But... I realize that I will continue to get better and better.. and that thought excites me very much.

The medicine that I had been relying on for quite some time changed me so much. I was different. I wasn't the same outgoing, loud, talkative, energetic, ADHD, OCD, friendly person. Instead, I was a silent, exhausted, and unhappy zombie. I now know what it is like to be me again!!! I am so happy, and I have energy again. Before I started to see improvements, I didn't know what I would do with my life. I couldn't see my future. But now, I can. I will be helping others who know what it means to be very sick. I will be the one to tell them that everything will be okay, when they don't see themselves getting better. I will be the one to change someone's life.

While I was typing this blog entry, I was listening to my music on iTunes, when a song came on that I can very easily relate to, along with so many other people. "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus is amazing. Now, I am not a fan of Miley Cyrus at all, but I love the song... Especially this part:

" There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Aint about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb"

I think a lot of people can relate to this song. Everyone has struggles. Everyone wishes that they didn't have major struggles or difficulties in their lives, and that they could get rid of them. Everyone hates to face the biggest challenges of their lives. It isn't easy to face a challenge. It is even more difficult when things don't go your way, because you keep wondering what the outcome would be if things HAD gone your way. But, it is the outcome of the simple daily challenges and the most difficult challenges that make us who we are.

 The more I think about it, I wonder what I would be like had I not gotten sick. Would I be the same? Probably not. I believe that everything happens for a reason. We don't always understand why the things that happen to us happen. Maybe it is simply just to learn how to face reality, and to keep going on with life. But, since I have been sick, I have learned a lot. Being so sick all the time gave me a lot of time to think. I never understood why it had to be me that got sick. Was it to make me stronger? Was it supposed to teach me a lesson? Or.. Did God just know that I could handle it? Whatever the reasons, I learned a lot about myself. I am stronger than I was before. I now know that I can handle much more than I ever thought was  possible before. I learned so much more... and I continue to keep learning.

- Brynn Kaitlin