"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
I've been told by many that this quote describes me; Maybe they're right. I have had to put up with a lot the past several years, and I kept fighting to stay on top. I haven't given up. I may not be able to get into USC for pre-med right after I graduate, but I WILL get there eventually. I will probably go to a tech school of some kind and then transfer from there. (If you maintain a 3.0 GPA, you can automatically transfer to a school, such as USC. I can easily maintain a 3.0) I will reach my goals, I just don't know when. I have had to work so much harder than anyone knows, but many people don't think that my hard work has paid off. I know that it has. I may not have my good grades anymore, or a lot of things, but I have gained so much.
When I first started taekwondo at the age of nine, I immediately made it my ultimate goal to reach 3rd degree black belt. We had been to a tournament, and one of the 3rd degrees did a demo. I was fascinated by his abilities, such as his "super-strength" and board breaking techniques. I knew that I wanted people to look up to me the way I looked up to him.
I made it to 1st degree black belt at the age of eleven.
Right before I turned thirteen, I got really sick, and nothing was the same anymore. I couldn't eat anything without getting sick, so I stopped eating. I dropped down to 89 pounds. I was 5'8", so it was an even bigger deal because of my height. I lost my strength, and didn't really care about anything anymore; except for reaching 3rd degree black belt. I decided to suck it up and gain my weight and strength back.
I reached 2nd degree black belt a few years later.
I got even sicker. I started having problems again so I stopped eating. I dropped back down to 102 lbs. I started missing more school. My immune system had reached rock bottom and I caught everything. I had five ear infections in one year. I had a stomach bug more times in a year than you can count on fingers and toes!! I was always sick, and I never felt well; even on my "good" days. Once again, I decided to suck it up and deal with it. I wanted my 3rd degree black belt, so I was going to fight harder than ever to get it. I was extremely sick the day I tested for 3rd degree black belt.
Although I was sick, I reached my ultimate goal, 3rd degree black belt.
The week after receiving my 3rd degree black belt, everything fell apart completely. I was even more sick than I have ever been. My immune system was even worse. I got sick every single time I ate.
I have missed over 30 weeks of school this year. I developed asthma and had to quit taekwondo. (I had to go to the hospital because I had a very severe asthma attack, which was how we discovered that I even had asthma.) We discovered that i have food allergies. I am allergic to 72 things. That's why my immune system doesn't function properly. That's why I have had so many injuries that left me in pain for so much longer than normal. (I was in physical therapy for a year with a thumb injury.) That's why I'm the way I am now.
For the longest time, people said to me, "Man, it sucks to be you!!! You have to deal with so many crappy things happening to you!!" For the longest time, I agreed with them. I have now realized that we were all wrong. I never understood why It took doctors five years to come up with some kind of diagnosis to my problems. I still don't understand!! But, I am happy. I kept saying that sickness ruined everything for me, and took so much away. I was wrong. I have gained so much. I now know what it's like to have to fight for something. (I had to visit so many doctors while trying to find out what was wrong, and I ended up diagnosing myself!) I fought to push myself harder and harder so that I could reach 3rd degree. I am having to push myself harder every day to bring myself to do make-up school assignments when I could be having fun with friends! I am now in the process of fighting the abdominal pain to avoid taking my medicines, which pretty much make me as "high as a kite." I am learning more and more every single day. I know how to push myself to the limit, and that is one of the most valuable things that I've learned!
Although I am still sick all the time, I could not be happier with the outcome. I know that there is always someone who has it worse. And thinking about it, I haven't had it too bad at all. I have the most amazing friends and family ever, my health has improved greatly, and I have learned what it truly means to have strength and willpower.
Until Next Time,
Bk
:)
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